The myriad of thoughts we have swirling (or banging) around in our heads while trying to conceive are stressful, if not crazy making. So much to keep track of…the lab and ultrasound appointments, the injections, the finances! All the while hearing that we need to relax! But HOW? When the tunnel vision of the infertility journey as narrowed so tightly that we can no longer connect to our peace, joy or sanity.
On average, we have 60,000 thoughts a day. But I would venture to say, that for those of us who excel in the monkey mind arena it is likely to double while going through infertility. What is significant, is that 90% of those thoughts are negative. And 90% of those are untrue.
So what does all that mean for your fertility? What impact do all these thoughts have beyond our peace of mind?
Mind-Body scientist and author, Candace Pert (best known for her book Molecules of Emotions) has demonstrated how thoughts and feelings called “neuropeptides” have receptor sites all throughout the body. When we experience a negative thought, emotion hormones are automatically released into our bodies – the chemical messengers that trigger physiological changes. Her research shows how the chemicals inside our bodies form a dynamic information network, linking mind and body – our thoughts and our emotions – an intricate mind body connection. So these thoughts we have about our in-fertility are impacting our body. Prolonged periods of heightened emotions such as fear, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness which can disturb our body’s natural systems, wreaking havoc with our hormonal system. This kind of stress can impact the menstrual cycle, ovulation and our fertility.
So how do we quiet that monkey mind…dissolve those stressful thoughts?
One very simple, and effective way is to simply become the observer of your thoughts. Just the act of conscious awareness that you are not your thoughts is a powerful step. Imagine you are the being having the thoughts. Because you are. This creates a cushion, if you will, softening the impact of your mind’s thoughts on your body. And this creates just enough space for you to choose another thought. You can have some thoughts ready. Write a few down that will bring you more ‘in the now’ present and more peace. For example, “I am well in this moment” or “I am filled with loving-kindness”. Any kind of affirmation or mantra that feels good to you. But. These simple statements need to be truth for you. Affirmations don’t work if you have an underlying belief that is contradictory to it. Another option is to thank you mind, so it can take a rest. Your mind’s job is to keep you safe so it really wants to be heard, and once you let it know it’s message has been received, it can know it’s job is done and can take a break from delivering that thought. Here is what that looks like: you have the stress inducing thought, you notice it (as the observer of your mind) and you say “I hear you. Thank you. I’ve got it.” And your mind has been given permission to take a break.
Give this technique a try. You can experience more peace in your mind, allowing you to experience more peace and in your body, allowing you to create more balance in your hormonal systems, all while enhancing a more fertile inner environment.