It is December again, and the holiday season is in full swing. There is joy in the air, and Christmas music on the radio and in the shopping malls. While it seems like everyone is in the holiday spirit, for those going through infertility, this time of year is a painful reminder of what we still don’t have what we most desire…a family of our own.

While it is natural to sometimes feel bad about feeling sad, this is not the time to go into judgment of your feelings. This is the time to go into supreme self-care, and massive gentleness with yourself.

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Here are 7 nuggets of wisdom to help you create a supreme level of self-care to make this holiday season a joyful one for you.

Give yourself permission to say “No”. It’s okay to decline an invitation. It really is. Notice any thoughts that include the word ‘should’. When you hear that word, question your thought, as it most likely is not serving you.

Know what’s important. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the business of the season. The parties, the gifts, the family gatherings and the shopping. Take the time to list what you wish to partake in over this season that will allow you to pace yourself in a way that is self loving and peaceful. And let go of the activities that create stress and rushing. It is okay to slow down. It is actually the perfect time of the year to do so.

Move into mindfulness. Throughout your days, notice your thoughts. Notice how often your thoughts spin out of control. When you do notice, stop. Breathe. And choose a thought that serves you where you are in that moment. This could be a mantra that you repeat like “love” or “peace” or an affirmation like “I am well, balanced and whole.” Choose the words that resonate deeply in your heart.

Tune inward. Taking time each day to tune out the noise of the world or your thoughts, and tune in to your inner world can be hugely grounding and calming. Whether it is a mindful walk, a yoga class or a guided meditation, attuning daily to your higher self and truly listening to your own guidance will empower all of your choices during the holidays and always.

Retreat to your sanctuary. Whether you find sanctuary in your place of worship, your local labyrinth, your own personal sacred space in your home or you actually go on a retreat getaway, commit to that time to connect to self, nature or Source.

Connect to your Trusted Circle. We all need support, so call on the people you trust to honor where you are, that support you without question or judgment and that will be there when you need them. Call on your community as needed. We all need our tribe.

Create your own ritual. The holidays are a time of tradition and ritual. Be intentional how you celebrate this time. Collaborate with your partner on how that might look for the two of you – you can create beautiful, connecting traditions and rituals in your own way that may just continue in your family for years!

May your holidays be filled with love, the deepest of self care for your mind, body, heart and spirit as you continue on your very unique road to your family.

I honor your journey.



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